Pseuds Corner

The following is a list of regularly appearing mini-sections appearing in the British satirical magazine Private Eye. These are mostly based on clippings from newspapers sent in by readers, often for a cash fee.

A column giving examples of especially convoluted and impenetrable jargon from the BBC. Named for former Director-General of the BBC John Birt, who was particularly associated with that kind of language. Following his departure, extracts are almost always taken from BBC job adverts or press releases announcing senior BBC appointments. The column features an illustration of a Dalek, a reference to Dennis Potter's 1993 James MacTaggart Memorial lecture where he described Birt (alongside Marmaduke Hussey) as a "croak-voiced Dalek."

A collection of gaffes from radio and TV perpetrated by sports commentators and sportsmen, featuring inconsistencies, mixed metaphors, or otherwise ludicrous statements, such as "he's missed the goal by literally a million miles" or "if they played like this every week they wouldn't be so inconsistent". This feature originally specialised in quotes from British sports commentator David Coleman, for whom the column is named, but expanded to quotes from others, notably including Murray Walker. The name of this feature has since spawned derivative collections such as "Warballs" (spurious references to the September 11, 2001 attacks), "Dianaballs" (unduly sentimental references to Diana, Princess of Wales). Any other subject can be covered, as long as it is appropriately suffixed by -balls, such as Tsunamiballs.

Colemanballs has now been renamed "Commentatorballs".

Bizarre, ignorant or otherwise humorous answers to questions given by contestants on British television and radio quiz shows, compiled by Marcus Berkmann. Occasionally, Dumb America, Dumb Ireland, Dumb Australia and other countries are also featured.

Pictures sent in by readers showing contradictory, ironic, amusing, scatological, or otherwise amusing images. For example, a temporary "Polling Station" sign situated next to a "Do not sit on the fence" notice, and an Indonesian restaurant named "Caffe Bog".

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