Ready, Willing, and Disabled
| "Ready, Willing, and Disabled" | |
|---|---|
| Family Guy episode | |
| Episode no. | Season 3 Episode 15 |
| Directed by | Andi Klein |
| Written by | Alex Barnow Marc Firek |
| Production code | 3ACX07 |
| Original air date | December 20, 2001 |
| Guest appearance(s) | |
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"Ready, Willing, and Disabled" is the 15th episode of the third season of Family Guy. It guest stars Tony Danza as himself portraying Joe Swanson, Valerie Bertinelli as herself portraying Bonnie Swanson, and Alex Rocco as Bea Arthur portraying Peter Griffin. The title is a pun on the saying, "Ready, willing, and able."
At a local fundraiser organized by Chris, a masked thief (with a mask of Jimmy Carter similar to Point Break) steals the proceeds. Joe Swanson chases after him and recovers the money, but fails to catch the thief. Depressed by his own failure, Joe quits the police force and retreats to his sleeping room. Lois instructs Peter to talk to him. When Peter does, an ad announcing the Special People's Games coming to Quahog is shown on television, and Peter encourages Joe to enter the Games, offering himself as a personal coach.
Peter subjects Joe to harsh physical training. As the Games commence, Joe's primary rival is an athlete strongly resembling Stephen Hawking, who repeatedly insults Joe using a voice synthesizer. Joe heads the competition until he performs poorly in the long jump. Realizing Joe must win the last competition, a running race, Peter drugs Joe's drink with steroids.
Joe then proceeds to win the Games, earning a gold medal, leaving triumphantly (with some of the drink spilling onto the ground, and a ladybug drinking it and promptly growing as big as a car, then it plucks a boy out of the audience and flies away), and becoming a notable public figure alongside his trainer Peter. Shortly into his newfound fame, an agent (Jim Kaplan the Con Man) approaches Joe and offers him a contract. Joe then appears in advertisements on his own and is awarded his own TV movie. Upon seeing the movie, Peter becomes infuriated, as it contradicts the actual events and portrays Peter as a discouraging female antagonist. Brian explains to Peter how Joe is rightfully being praised, since his disability makes his story inspirational. Peter then decides to fake his own disability, produces video footage of an accident in which he is paralyzed, and runs into Quahog's TV station demanding he is honoured with advertisements and TV movies as well. However, Tom Tucker quickly sees through Peter's alleged "footage" (in which he runs over a scarecrow dressed in his clothes alleging this is how he was injured and it turns out the real Peter is the one driving it) and escorts him out.
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