Rock a Hula Ted

"Rock a Hula Ted"
Father Ted episode
The Lovely Girls competition
Episode no.	Series 2 Episode 7
Directed by	Declan Lowney
Written by	Graham Linehan Arthur Mathews
Produced by	Lissa Evans
Featured music	The Divine Comedy
Cinematography by	Chris Owen
Editing by	Mykola Pawluk Tim Waddell
Original air date	19 April 1996
Guest appearance(s)
C. P. Grogan (Niamh Connolly) Alan Shortt (Interviewer) Maggie Conway (Deaf Signer) Dermot Crowley (Father Liam Deliverance) Eddie Bannon, Joe Gallagher, Mick Nolan and Joe Taylor (The Lads) Dawn Bradfield (Imelda)
Episode chronology
← Previous "The Plague" Next → "Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading"
List of Father Ted episodes

"Rock a Hula Ted" is the seventh episode of the second series of Channel 4 sitcom Father Ted, and the thirteenth episode overall.

Ted and Dougal see feminist musician Niamh Connolly on the television, accusing the Catholic Church of multiple atrocious but highly improbable acts during the Great Famine, such as shutting the "potato factories" and turning them into children's prisons. She then sings a radically feminist, anti-clerical song with the lyrics signed for TV viewers. Ted and Dougal loudly dismiss all of this. Meanwhile, Mrs Doyle declares that the Church has always been good to her, while she is preoccupied with various heavy labour tasks around the Parochial House in addition to her regular housework as the men relax in front of the television.

Ted is asked to be a judge in the Lovely Girls competition, and brings Jack along for the day. Due to Jack's atypical long hair, he resembles Bob Geldof and proceeds to imitate him by beginning a collection for Live Aid—any proceeds going directly to Jack himself. When Ted finds out, he tells off Jack asking, "What would Queen think, and Peter Gabriel and all those acts who were on earlier in the day? And what about Phil Collins flying all the way to Boston?", prompting a vicious punch in the stomach by Jack.

This results in Ted showing up at the contest breathing heavily as he welcomes the girls. The contest revolves around various self-parodying imitations of typical events (sandwich construction, walking, laughing) with Imelda ultimately deemed the winner by Ted. Her prize is a meal with Ted in Craggy Island's top seafood Thai restaurant, The Thai Cottage, out of her own wallet.

While Ted is out, Niamh Connolly comes to visit. Dougal invites her in and (technically following some advice Ted gave him) asks her if she would like to remove her bra. He then attempts to make a cup of tea for her but concedes defeat with Mrs Doyle busy elsewhere.